Everyone always wants a little bit more.

This one's for me.

I've been reading a lot on the forums about my supposed "Retirement". Amazing. A lot of people will come out of the woodwork and take their final potshots at you when they think you aren't reading them. And they use grudges that they refuse to let go, outright lies they made up or took out of context deliberately, or just their own hatred for me because I managed to do what they haven't. Mainly the accomplishment of gaining recognition in the paintball industry on my own terms, not through the "normal" channels.

That and I understand that there's a lot of anger at my ability to gain some level of "celebrity" for doing my own thing, not following the herd. Sure, my supposed "celebrity" puts me up to take shots from people with agendas and axes to grind. And people are very quick to judge any action I take, or not take, and apply it to what they believe all well known people can do. The joke is that I'm just a player doing what I do as a wordsmith. I write, I create, I put to paper ideas that others want to but for whatever reason they can't, and that's what I do.

But one theme I read over and over about my alleged "retirement" is the following phrase: "He could have done more."

Well, like what? No, really. What did I NOT do as an individual for paintball as a sport? Keeping in mind that I don't run a tournament series, a major company, or have the political sway people think I do, what else could I have done for the sport of paintball?

Let's start with the obvious. I had the video show. 75+ episodes all done on my dime, on my time, for free. That was the object of the show, so I'm not complaining about that. So what more could I have done? Create a DVD and give it away? How about free clinics? Sure, I'll drive around the country and teach people how to play paintball, for free? That's impractical, so the videos will just have to do.

The shows were either very popular, or laughed at depending on who you were in the sport. Tournament players didn't take it seriously because they generally think they know everything. Rec players and new players loved it because it was the only real source of information that existed. The fact it was free definitely helped the enjoyment of the show, that's for sure.

But what else can I have done with the show? Talk about safety? Did that. Talk about doing things in a safe manner like bunkering people? Did that too, but I know the message was ignored. Talk about fair play and doing things right? Did that too. So I'm puzzled, what else could I have done?

Archive the old school days? Did that. Show the social side of paintball? Did that. Show the gritty underside of a tournament? Did that. Seems I did a lot, huh? I feel like I did all I could to portray paintball in a positive way with the WDR site. That I had control over, and I put up content that I believed would portray paintball in a way that would get people to want to try it, or at least tolerate it in their communities

So how about other venues? Write articles to help new players and experienced ones? I do that. Put out a book? Co-authored one and basically wrote the addendums to them all yes. But since I'm pigeonholed as the "rec ball guy" articles I write aren't taken seriously by people who think they're tournament gods. They're not, but that's another rant entirely. So I can't write stuff about serious sports techniques like visualization and training, because that's not rec-ballish enough.

As an individual, there's only so much I can do. Well I could join a tournament team and try to change the system from the inside, but that's impossible as JUST a player. Players have little to no power in the "industry system", but they don't realize that. The only power they have is to vote with their wallets and not go to events, but nobody will do that and that makes the players powerless. That and players tend to be spoiled children who want everything for free when they think they've "earned the rights". If you want to affect change, it takes a LOT of money and a controlling interest in the "scene" to make swooping change like that. I neither have the money, nor the influence as just "Tyger".

But it's interesting how easy it is for other people to say I should have "done more" or "tried harder". It's easy to say that, isn't it? But I've exhausted all the options available to me that I can do as just me. I've done a hell of a lot for paintball. I'd venture to say that I've done more than most of my detractors COMBINED to try to make this game better overall. And I've done it all without being greedy or selfish. I've never asked for anything back from the players. And I only recently asked for industry help to back it up financially, to keep the server going. That didn't work, and after the last incident on the field I see that an individual's efforts are basically ignored by a slick ad campaign and decade old promises that people continue to buy into.

And for what it's worth, what could I have tried harder at doing? Making the game better? I think I did that in all the ways I could without a lot of money to throw at a server. Clean up the tournament circles? Yeah, right, they don't want to be cleaned up. Make the industry better? Well seeing that I'm not a shareholder in any of them they won't listen to me no matter how right I am. I'm an individual, I'm a player. I'm neither a messiah nor a miracle worker. I have as much power as any other individual player to affect change.

I've dropped this hint on the Spec Ops forum, but I'll say it here too. Change is not made by one person's words. Change is made by 10,000 people's actions. If you want to affect change, you need to get help doing it. I have a way to do it, but I'm going to let it simmer a little while. I won't unleash a half-baked idea on the 'net. You'll know when it drops tho. I have a feeling it'll shake things up a little.

To say "Tyger hasn't done enough" is not a fair statement to make. As a person, I've done EVERYHTING in my power that I can. As "B-Grade Celebrity" (as I've been told I am) there's only so much I can pull out of my tail to affect change for the better good. Especially in an industry that's resistant to anything changing.

What's in Tyger CD player :