"Woods" and "Speedball" guns

I first heard the phrase used by Maggie Estep way back when on MTV's "Spoken Word" episode of unplugged. Her spoken-word piece was not only biting and satirical, but also bloody well hilarious. And it ended with her saying "I don't have anything against men, just stupid men."

I've modified that a little, and so has a lot of the western world. "I don't hate people. Just stupid people." Stupidity comes in many forms from outright lack of intelligence to willful ignorance of the way things are. Some people are willfully stupid, some people don't know better and appear stupid.

As a case in point, I would like to direct your attention to a video available online (see below). It's from a place called "Expert Village", and it features a professional paintball Orestes Guada, a player from Miami Rage professional paintball team, talking about paintball guns. And in it, he says that there are two kinds of paintball guns; Woods paintball guns and the "Airball" / "Speedball" guns.

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And he points at a wall of guns, and declares after 30 seconds that "woods" guns are good for "range". And the Speedball guns are good for "speed".

Hmm.

A part of me knows I shouldn't really care. I mean this is basically this persons opinions being presented as fact, and that's really no skin off my back in the larger scheme of things. But on the other hand, it's the wanton ignorance that grates me. I mean this is a guy who's played for 6 years, according to his own biography. He plays professional paintball. He obviously has store connections. AND, the ultimate insult, he's a so-called "Expert" giving this lesson. So people will believe it.

Please, allow me to set something straight here about this subject.

There is no such thing as a "woods" or "speedball" paintgun. My e-mag, in the woods, is just as effective as a Tippmann. In fact, I know a lot of woods or scenario teams who use so-called "Speedball" guns in 24 hour games. On the other side of the coin, I've destroyed teams on the speedball field with my "woodsball" Tac-1 and A-5A2, running remote and wearing my digital cammies. I can also recall last winter a group of camo-wearing pump-toting "Wannabees" spanking the local experts at an indoor field.

It had to be the guns tho, I mean we all know pumps are more "accurate". At least that's the myth. Myth, in paintball, is more powerful than provable facts. So let's set some myths straight.

All paintball guns have the same effective range. This is because paintballs are regulated to a standard top speed on the field of play. Indoor is traditionally 250 FPS, outdoor 300 FPS. There are only a few ways to get more range from a paintball gun. #1 is to put spin on the ball, creating a version of the "Magnus" effect. #2 is to use a heavier paintball at the same velocity. The trade is it takes more energy to move a heavier ball to the same exit velocity, so you lose air efficiency. But the extra energy give the ball more range. #3 is to cheat, and crank your velocity up. But this is not only stupid and illegal, but around 350 you lose accuracy.

Or, simply put for those who don't want to read all that stuff, all paintguns shoot, effectively, the same range. So your electro-monster shoots the same distance as my pump gun when we're at the FPO field, unless you're a cheating bastard.

The argument that speedball guns have more "speed", well there's two ways to take that. #1 is the literal "FPS" translation, and if your gun shoots faster that way I have a problem with that. #2, and more than likely what he meant, is in balls per second. But here's where it falls flat on its face. I can take that gun into the woods, and play just as well or poorly as with a slower ROF paintgun. Just as I can take a pump gun into a speedball game, and play just as good / poorly as with a higher ROF paintgun.

Old timers say this many, many times. And new guys never believe it until they actually become old timers and get the point. The gun does not make the game, the player does. If someone sucks with a pump gun, they're going to suck just JUST as much with the highest ROF semi auto they can find. The difference is that the latter will cost them more money to suck than the former will. This is why a lot of old-timers will swap guns mid-day. It's cheaper to suck with a pump than suck with an electro gun, and your "windshield to bug" ratio really doesn't change.

However, I want to add something to the mix. There is no such thing as a "woodsball" or "speedball" gun. After playing a winter with my "woodsball" gear in the arenas local to me, I've come to the conclusion that you can play anywhere with anything. I can take an ION into the woods just as well as the arena, and play my game just as well. It's all about what you're comfortable with, and what you want to play with on any given moment.

The perception comes in the fact that "most" players in the woods play with Tippmanns, and "most" players in the arena fields play with high end electros. That has more to do with demographics than physical location. Most woods players are 1-3 times a summer players, or backyard enthusiasts who really don't want to monkey with their gear. The Tippmann is good for them. The "Speedball" players think they need screaming ROF guns, so they gravitate to those. In reality, they could play just as well with a Tippmann or a Spyder, but they want speed. So, they pay for it.

Reality is that the gun really doesn't give a damn where you shoot it. It doesn't know you're in the woods or on a field filled with colorful bags of air. It doesn't care if you're in camouflage or color-coordinated Grranimals gear. And it doesn't determine the accuracy of your shot. The only difference is where you're comfortable playing, and what you're comfortable wearing while you're there.

But I'd like to modify what I said earlier about "stupid people". I'm not saying that Mr. Guada is "stupid". On the contrary, you have to have some intelligence to play and maintain a "professional" career of any kind. But I will say that his commentary is ignorant, and less than truthful. In his mind, it may be 100% fact. However, I can easily point out the flaws with 30 seconds of internet searching and with some very basic common sense.

All I'm saying is that a lot of the myths in paintball are propagated by the "experts" from generation to generation of players. I would like to think that the buck has to stop somewhere on all the myths, and it stops when everyone realizes how ignorant we're all being. It may take one bastard to point it out, but it takes a community to end ignorance once and for all.

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