Playing for "respect"

Playing for "respect". This was a phrase I heard a lot when I watched the ESPN games from the NPPL this year. "We're playing for respect." When you say that to me, or you say that about paintball and your game, you're telling me a lot more about you than you might think. Please, allow me the pleasure to explain it to you.

In the context of the ESPN games, the last few rounds didn't mean anything to the teams playing them. It was basically to fill up time and to round out the schedules so everyone played everyone. But the announcer kept on saying "They're playing for the respect. They're playing so that the other teams will respect them down the road." *ahem* BS! They're playing for the guaranteed airtime, and for the product placements that they promised sponsors.

Now if that were the only case, I'd let it drop. But you know what? It's not. I hear it a lot from the local tourney scene guys. "It's not about this or that, it's about the respect." And I always wonder. Exactly whose respect are you hoping to get when you're screaming profanity at the top of your lungs at another player screaming profanity at the top of his lungs. Usually they sound like two 4 year olds at the playground playing "Cops and Robbers" while screaming "I shot you first." The difference is that with kids it doesn't turn into chest thumping and an eventual display of how large you think your stones are.

So let me tell you what I hear. What it sounds like to me when someone tells me, or says within my earshot, "It's about getting respect."

#1: You have no respect for yourself, so you look for it in others. Sounds weak, but this is often the case. You probably didn't make the cut to varsity sports, so you tried the alternative ones. You found that either you couldn't hack it there either or you just didn't like the massive pain factor, so you found paintball. And in paintball, you're only judged initially by how you look. And anyone with money and a mouth can look and talk a big game. So it's easy to get "respect" bashing the walk-ons, they'll fawn all over you just like you want them too.

#2: You're not making any money at this game, even though you say you're sponsored out the ass. If you're playing for "respect", that means you're not getting anything else out of it. I'm reminded of other sports that play all for "respect", and the big one that comes to mind is "streetball" style basketball. They play for the respect of others because that's all they're going to get out of it.

By comparison, do you really think someone like "T.O." cares if you respect him? How about Kobe? Shaq? Do they really care if you respect them? No, because they're being PAID. If I was Ollie Lang, I wouldn't give a damn if you respected me because I'd have MONEY to prove that I've got game and you don't! So if you're playing for "respect", I know that your version of sponsorship is what the business world calls a "group deal". Meaning you got a discount because five guys all bought the same color jersey, but you spent the difference on the custom name and number on the back that will fall off before the end of the season.

#3: I know what kind of player you are, and honestly I hate you. It takes a lot for me to hate someone based solely on something they say, but the stereotype / mould that you're cut from is so predictable it's sickening.

"I play for the respect" you say to me while wearing your 2X oversized clownsuit with pride. You even got it either brand new or as a beaten handout from some other joe who's new sponsor doesn't like the brand name. Sometimes, you even have a clue to wear the same color jersey and pants, but often it's a yellow jersey with blue pants and white-framed goggles, like you lost a bet or got dressed in the dark.

In the staging area you have at least two guns in your cavernous and oversized gearbag. The first one is your "POS" gun, and doesn't work well if at all. The other one is "only until I can afford a (insert gun of the month here)". When someone pulls a gun out of their gearbag you've got nothing but questions. What kind of barrel? What kind of reg? What kind of gun? What kind of airsystem? What kind of board? Instead of looking at the gun and knowing you have to ask. I'll spot you the internals, but you can't read a regulator and know it's "Centerflag"?

Then there's the 20-30 minutes of primping and strutting in the staging area. You want to show off your gun, how much you spent on it. You want to impress me with your gear, and how much "awesomer" it is than mine or anyone elses on the planet. You may even think you're an airsmith because you put the "Lo pressure kit" in it yourself. It's an "upped" gun, because you added a drop forward and a new grip panel. You'll talk ALL about your gun, except to mention how you play with it.

Then we actually get on the field. You take forever to chrony, because you never bothered to before we got to the field. We're waiting for you while you're trying to get that 1 more FPS, like it means something. Then we split sides. "I want to play with my guys", even when it means you play 5 renters with 5 "pimped gats". All the better, so you can mash them and get that respect you want. But this brings me to the next point.

4: You're going to play with a chip on your shoulder. You're playing for "respect", so you're going to play the game with that as your goal. You're not just going to shoot someone; you're going to hose them. If you get one lucky break, that's good. You'll actually stop shooting them if you can get it through your head that a gun in the air means "I AM OUT". Then post game you're gonna rub their nose in it, that your "1337 sk!llz" were how you "killed" them. In reality you emptied a hopper and got lucky when you broke a ball in your barrel which made one ball whip wildly around the bunker and hit him in a pure luck moment. But who's going to shatter your delusions of adequacy?

Odds are you have no problem with wiping, and the only thing that will stop you is the threat of being shown to be a "wiper". Even then, you'll argue on the internet later that it was "splatter" and the refs sucked and had it in for you. And besides, he must have wiped too so you're justified.

But you're going to push the rules. You're going to break the rules. You're going to either buddy up with the referees or intimidate them to get them to make "good calls" go your way. As long as you're winning, you're happy. You start losing, and the beast comes out to play. Unless you've been "pwned" by someone who is playing paintball on a whole other level, in which case you'll take your lumps like a kicked puppy and try not to show your tail between your legs.

5: You're here for the social club, not the sport.

Tom Kaye actually put it best:

Everyone has to stop thinking of paintball as a "sport" since that would mean it was a test of skill. Paintball is a lifestyle in which you have the illusion of competition. Everyone uses the same gun and the same strategy in tournaments because they want to be like everyone else. If it was really about competing, you would see different stuff from different teams trying to figure out the best way to win. To be different in tourney ball is to be embarrassed, that’s not competition, that’s a club.

He said that November of 2004. And it still holds true.

6: You will suck up to anyone you can that seems like they're good, and try to associate yourself with them in all situations. Seen it plenty of times, the local good player has these "fanboys" hanging off him, who all try to say they're his best friend. They physically surround his gear bag and try to be seen with him, even if it's just in the same 10 foot radius circle.

And finally, 7: When you say you're playing for "respect", you're also telling me that you buy into the bullshit of online cliques and you'll do what it takes to be accepted. Usually it requires spending money. And most of your game is about spending money on clothing, or a particular gun, or a particular accessory to gain just that much more respect. If you want to be in a fashion show, move to Milan or Paris. Spare me the prima donna look, ok? If it'll make you feel better we'll put spotlights, bad techno and a runway down each tapeline so you can strut your stuff properly, ok?

Let me say this publicly. I couldn't care less if you "respect" me. As a flame someone told me that the "industry" never took me seriously so I couldn't get sponsorship. You know what? I really don't give a fuck. Players tell me they don't respect me because I wear ears and a tail, or because I whine too much, or I don't play tourneys or I don't do enough free video shows for them. Guess what. I don't care about them either.

I don't play for them. I play for me. I don't play to be part of the "social club". I don't play to be seen, or to be popular, or to look fashionable. I'm playing the game. I'm trying to win here. If I'm wearing something it's either comfortable, fits me, or serves a purpose. One of my favorite outings I played at a "high power" field in BDU's with one of the purposes being so the regulars would underestimate me. That, my friends, is multi-purpose camouflage.

You know who I respect? A guy who rolls into the lot, unpacks and preps his gear and doesn't brag about his stuff. He hits the chrony before the game starts, talks about the game and not how good he is at it, and tries to help some of the new guys he may be next to. He plays a strong game, doesn't rub a win in anyone's face, tries to learn from a loss, and just wants to play the game. Mostly, it's someone who isn't playing to earn my respect. And I can respect that.

Just play the game, get over yourselves.

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